If you find yourself in an unplanned pregnancy and your boyfriend or partner is pressuring you to have an abortion, you may be wondering what to do.
Let’s look at a Q&A of how common “reproductive coercion” is, what pressure looks like, and what steps to take next.
Am I the only one who feels pressured?
You are not alone. Partner pressure to abort is far more common than many women realize, but it’s often not talked about openly.
A 2023 peer-reviewed study of women with abortion histories, published in the medical journal Cureus, found that “61% reported high levels of pressure on at least one scale,” including pressure from partners, family members, finances, or other circumstances. Nearly one in four described their abortions as unwanted or coerced.
A separate prospective study published in General Hospital Psychiatry followed 80 women for two years after their abortions and concluded that “male pressure on women to have an induced abortion has a significant, negative influence” on their psychological responses in the years that follow.
What does reproductive coercion look like?
Reproductive coercion is when a partner uses pressure, manipulation, or control to influence your reproductive decisions. A 2024 peer-reviewed study published in PLOS One said reproductive coercion can include “threats, violence or coercion to force someone to terminate a pregnancy.” A separate study in the Journal of Family Violence found that women pressured to end a pregnancy were sometimes “threatened with repercussions such as physical violence, or with the loss of their relationship.”
In studies like these, women described patterns like:
- A partner who suddenly turns hostile, cold, or withdrawn after learning about the pregnancy
- A boyfriend who frames the pregnancy as something done to him; worried about how he’ll be judged by others, or about being tied down by the cost of a child
- A partner refusing to consider adoption, parenting, or even time to think; only abortion is on the table
- Pressure tied to the relationship; making clear he won’t be involved with a child, or that he may leave or stop speaking to her if she keeps the pregnancy
If any of these sound familiar, it’s worth taking time to process before making a decision you can’t undo.
Have you obtained an ultrasound?
An important step before making any decision is to obtain an ultrasound. An ultrasound provides several pieces of important medical information, including:
- The location of your pregnancy. If your pregnancy has implanted anywhere outside the uterus you could have an ectopic pregnancy. In this instance, you would be advised to seek immediate medical attention. The FDA specifically says the abortion pill “will not be effective to terminate an ectopic pregnancy.”
- The gestational age is determined by measuring the dimensions of the pregnancy. The abortion pill can be dangerous to you if your pregnancy is farther along than you may think. The FDA approves of the abortion pill up to 70 days (10 weeks). Be warned that some abortion pill vendors claim the abortion pill is safe beyond the FDA’s 10-week approved range. Abortion pill risks such as uterine rupture increase the farther along you are in your pregnancy. The ultrasound provides you with an accurate gestational age so you can make the best decision for you.
- The viability of your pregnancy. If a heartbeat cannot be detected, or if the ultrasound does not show the findings we would expect to see, we recommend follow-up with your physician. In some cases, a pregnancy that is not progressing as expected may end naturally without medical intervention. Appropriate follow-up care may also help avoid an unnecessary abortion procedure.
Clinics like Waterleaf Women’s Center offer free medical-grade pregnancy testing and ultrasound.
I’m also experiencing partner violence – what do I do?
Sadly, reproductive coercion sometimes involves partner threats or violence. If your partner has harmed you or threatened to harm you, has tampered with your birth control or tried to slip you the abortion pill, seek help right away. Contact local police or a safety organization like the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.
If you have taken the abortion pill but still wish to continue your pregnancy, do not take the second set of pills and immediately contact an Abortion Pill Reversal resource immediately:
- Waterleaf: 630-360-2256. Call or text confidentially.
- Abortion Pill Rescue hotline: 877-558-0333 for a medical provider in your area.
Next steps
You deserve space to make a responsible and safe decision about your pregnancy. At Waterleaf Women’s Center, we can provide you with a free medical-grade pregnancy test and ultrasound free of charge; insurance is not required. Your appointment is confidential, and you are treated with compassion. We do not profit from any decision you make.
Our licensed medical professionals will take the time to understand your situation and answer any questions you may have. Call or text Waterleaf confidentially today at 630-360-2256 (CALM).
