What Relationship Tips Can Help Me? | Waterleaf Women's Center | Aurora, IL

What Relationship Tips Can Help Me?

What Relationship Tips Can Help Me?

11 Aug 2023 | General

Whether you are seeking a romantic relationship or have been in one for a while, there are relationship tips to consider. This article provides well-researched tips that can help you find relationship success.


Both partners should benefit from a relationship. Dr. John Van Epp, PhD in counseling psychology, developed the Relationship Attachment Model (R.A.M.) method of approaching a partnership. His research identified five stages for how to develop a healthy relationship:

  • Know – Take 90 days to get to know someone.
  • Trust – Are they honest or trustworthy?
  • Rely – Do they do what they say they will?
  • Commit – This should only happen when you can know, trust, and rely on your partner.
  • Touch – Ideally in a committed monogamous relationship.

When these occur out of order, the relationship has a higher risk of failure.

Sexual activity without a proper foundation runs the risk of a false bond. During sexual encounters, the body releases a chemical called oxytocin, which forms a bond with the partner. Scientists have cautioned against casual sexual activity.

“The downside to the intense bonding that can accompany sexual activity is that it is all too easy to become bonded to a partner who is not suited to be part of our life long-term,” said one psychiatrist.


It can be a challenge to know if it’s love or just a crush. The following is called the “Dump Them List,” which are tips your relationship may not have a good foundation.

Does he/she:

  • Make you feel the need to “fix” the other person
  • Lie to you
  • Hit you, push you, or do anything to frighten you
  • Have a drinking or drug problem
  • Not care if you lie to your family
  • Put you down—even if they say, “just kidding”
  • Cheat on you
  • Flirt with other people
  • Use guilt to get you to do what they want
  • Resent time you spend with your family and friends
  • Behave badly and then blame others
  • Seem emotionally dependent on you


If you’d like to talk more about your relationships or just have questions, one of our trained professionals can speak with you confidentially. We can also provide free pregnancy testing and ultrasounds, or STD testing for chlamydia or gonorrhea at no cost to you. No insurance is required for any of our services. Just call/text us confidentially at 630-360-2256 or contact us on the Waterleaf website.

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