My Partner Wants an Abortion, What do I do? An unintended pregnancy can mean two different things to two different people. To some, it is a happy and welcome surprise. To others, being unexpectedly pregnant can be frightening. No matter what, suddenly discovering you are pregnant is a shock to everyone involved. You now have a crucial choice to make. Do you continue with your pregnancy or end it? What should you do if you and your partner don’t agree?
For A Woman
Perhaps your contraception failed, or you didn’t think you could get pregnant at that particular time. What if you are excited about your pregnancy, but your partner is pressuring you to have an abortion? He may say, “You are keeping this baby against my will” or, “I will leave you if you don’t have an abortion.”
A man, especially if he has other children, may be fearful of the financial responsibility. No matter his reason for wanting you to abort, you have to do what is right for you. Ultimately, only you can decide what is best for you and your future. No one should, or legally can, force you to do something you don’t want to do.
For A Man
Finding out you are going to be a father can be overwhelming. You are thinking about the responsibility you now have financially and emotionally. Having a child, or perhaps another child, isn’t on your radar at this time. It is a big adjustment. What if you would like her to have the child, but she is unwilling to consider anything other than abortion? You can assure her of your support for her and the baby. In the long run, your partner has the final say on the outcome of her pregnancy. However, you have the right to express your feelings or opinions.
Advice for Both of You
Open communication is essential regardless of who favors the pregnancy and who insists on an abortion. Listen and try to understand each other’s concerns. This can make a big difference in reaching a decision you both can live with. While you are considering your options, here are a few suggestions for establishing good communication.
Do not wait for the other person to just change their mind. Without communication, your partner will have no reason to change their mind. This is one decision that cannot be ignored or put on the back burner. Consider talking with a pregnancy consultant at Waterleaf who can discuss your options including parenting, adoption, and abortion.
Do not try to manipulate the other person. Manipulation is dishonest and leads to mistrust. Manipulation can eventually create bitterness and/or resentment and potentially end the relationship. Maintain your integrity by continuing to talk about your fears and desires.
Do not make a decision out of ‘sacrifice’. Sacrificing your happiness is not “true love.” You need to express your emotions clearly. If your partner refuses to understand or consider your position, it is time to reach out to a counselor or someone you trust who can help you.
Let Us Help You
At Waterleaf Women’s Center, our staff is ready to talk with you individually or together. Our consultations are free and confidential. We can discuss your options and help you choose what is best for both of you. We also offer free pregnancy tests to confirm your pregnancy. No matter what, you are welcome here. How can we help you?